Not too long ago I met someone who moved my heart in a certain way that I have never thought possible before. This person believed in so much that I personally found ridiculous at that moment. Everything this person told me sounded so unreal and pathetic at that time, until I realized maybe I just didn’t understand, yet. I guess I just had a phase where I’ve never been one for total commitments. I grew up believing that there’s always something better out there. I always thought that if it doesn’t make you happy anymore, it’s never too late to turn away from it and start fresh. I used to always think that if he hurts you, you deserve better. If he makes you cry, screw him and on to the next. I always believed that we always had options, and that it was a completely good thing.
I guess it was ridiculous ‘til things started to backfire at me. I realized that most of my life I’ve been giving up too much. I’ve been running away from things because I felt weak. I’d turn back and change my mind because I wasn’t sure anymore. I’d choose a different path because my heart wasn’t as in it as it used to be. And it went on that way for a really long time. Then I figured, maybe that’s the problem. I’ve never stuck it out completely with anything. I came to find that the more options you had the less satisfying things got. You’re always in things but never completely in them. After a million debates, I finally got to understand what this friend of mine meant all along and it opened my eyes in a lot of ways and changed the way I saw things completely.
After almost 20 years, I finally understood that you don’t turn away from things because it’s difficult; it just means you have to try harder. You don’t leave people just yet because they’ve hurt you, you have to compromise, talk it out, and actually listen (working on this one.) You’re not supposed to leave things just like that because you wake up one morning unsure of whether or not your heart is still there completely; you’re supposed to do something about it. I’ve learned that love isn’t as easy as abc you don’t just get it. Rather, it’s an endless learning experience. I learned that commitments are very important andthey’re decisions you choose to make and you have to live by no matter how hard things get. I came to find that you can’t keep saying “it’s not yet the right time” or “I’m not yet ready” when will you ever be? There is no such thing as the right time, only moments that you choose to make the most of. You can’t keep thinking that there’s something better for you out there because things aren’t the way you wish they were because you brought yourself to where you stand and there’s nothing more to do but to work it through. Lastly, I came to find that life doesn’t begin at 30 or after college or when you’re about to die. It began the very moment you came into this world and every moment you are given the chance to start living it. Take right now and start living.